you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
