after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
