I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
