found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize