dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
