I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
