This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
