Umm I'm too high to move.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
