im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
