If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
this will be a night to untag.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
