Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
