Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
