You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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