if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
MIDGETS
????
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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