my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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