who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
