K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
