Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
