okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
