Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize