I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
