its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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