three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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