Acid is not a monday night drug
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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