What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
