when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
