Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
