She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
