Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
