Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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