we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
im six kinds of drunk right now
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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