I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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