I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
