Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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