Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
