Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
