We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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