Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
