I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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