I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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