i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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