Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
