she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
