Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
