I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she looked like the before picture.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
