dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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