Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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