Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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