I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
