i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
