Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
oh god the rape fog is back!
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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