my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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