question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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