how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i believe in u and ur pee
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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