tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You made out with two different species that night
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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