Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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