OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
