remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
