He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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