After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
