As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
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